March marks my third month in Portland, and I still haven't felt that urge to get up and leave...which I'm taking as good news, but I'm still mapping out a trip out east nonetheless. Because while I actually feel comfortable here, I don't like the fact that I haven't seen as much as I'd like and that I haven't just taken a day off to go explore everything around me.
It was easier in New York, I guess. Even with family and friends there, I always had the desire to go, go, go — but here? I don't know what it is, but I always feel something keeping me here when I think about where I'll be tomorrow, or next week, or when this lease ends in June. Somehow, that's even kept me from adventuring outside of the city limits, and I need to change that.
So I have the day off and I'm heading out to Mount Hood tomorrow.
Just the forest, not the actual mountain. I constantly have Jack's voice in the back of my mind, talking about shit like avalanche training, but I still plan to see the rest of it. I think it'll be good for me — allow me to get outside, do something besides eat and work and sleep and drink — and it's close enough to be doable but far enough away that it feels like a real adventure.
I still haven't figured out if I'm going to ask Jack to come with me. It's a work day, for one, so I'm sure he'd say no anyway...but even then, I'm trying to convince myself it's better if I go alone. Take a day for myself. I've been spending all my time with him as it is, and I don't need him to get sick of me just yet.
I'd take Farrah, too, but she's so busy with buying a house and figuring out her life that I can't even dream of bothering her with my bullshit. I know it gets exhausting and it's hard to keep up with every new thing, and maybe I just need friends in Portland, or maybe I just need this day trip to the woods, or maybe I need to figure my shit out.
Maybe I need all three. I'll start with the trip.